When Devan and I started dating seriously and then got engaged it was so great and I couldn't have been any more happy. So it really surprised me the response a lot of people had once we were engaged.
Immediately everybody decided they needed to tell me just their opinion on marriage and what I was getting myself into. I don't think anyone meant it personally, but apparently a lot of people think they have so much knowledge to impart on this subject that they need to tell everybody and their dog.
I remember a couple of people telling me that marriage was "the hardest thing you'll ever do" and not just the fact that they said this, but they said it in a way that made it sound like I was signing up to go to prison. Most of these people giving me their opinion are not even that close to me or even know me that well. I was told that I better "get ready" and "marriage isn't a fairytale". The more I heard these things from people the more upset I got. I mean really? What gives you a person the right to speak this way to me. And I know it's just not me that this has happened to.
I think of marriage as one of the most sacred institutions in this world. It is a blessing if you are able to experience it in this life. I am so happy that I am able to experience it with my best friend by my side. In this day and age so many people look at marriage as something to be avoided and looked down upon and it makes me sad. I know I have only been married six months but let me tell you- these six months have been some of the best times in my life. I wish when I had been engaged more people would have come to me saying just that. That marriage is going to be the greatest thing that has ever happened to you. You just have to put the time and energy into it that you put into anything else important in your life. The divorce rate in this country is growing continually and I think a lot of it is because so many people don't respect marriage anymore. It is something that should be revered as one of the greatest blessings God has given to us in this life. I mean, we get to spend eternity with them! How lucky are we?!
So next time you find out a family member, friend, or even a random person you don't know very well is engaged I ask you to please remember this. They don't need your negative opinion on marriage and what they are doing. It really is unnecessary. Let's be optimistic here people!
Have I mentioned I love this guy?
Just wait til you have a baby.....you will get so much advise it is overwhelming. In general nobody is out to get you and they want you to succeed, hence the advise. My advice (ironic isn't it) is to figure out how to accept unwanted advise gracefully.
ReplyDeleteYou are wise beyond your years sweets. Marriage is a great gift. It is meant to be cherished and taken care of. I think it is way to easy to get divorced...the road gets bumpy and so many people bail. So sad. Kenny and I are celebrating our twentieth year of marriage in March. Yes, there are bumps and hard times along the way, but I choose to focus on the good. Focus on the fact that I am so lucky to have the man by my side that loves me, supports me, trusts me, and accepts me for exactly who I am and I do the same for him. I feel as though it is a great blessing.
ReplyDeleteI love your perspective. I feel the same way and choose to enjoy my fairy tale :)
ReplyDeleteGentry honey, I LOVE this post! Unfortunately in this day and age so many people are more than happy to ''rain on someone else's parade'' and I think that's so so sad. It takes me back to my Mother's favourite saying when I was growing up ''if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!''.. Your perspective is perfect. You are so lucky to have found your soul mate and love so early in life.. My second hubby (soul mate) and I are about to celebrate our 7th anniversary in early December. Yes we get all the cliched ''7 year itch'' comments.. but I just say we're way past that because we've been together for 11!! That soon quitens them down, giggle! Love and hugs xxx
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